Stuff that my Dad (Dick Owens) used to say. The first dozen or so I have only ever heard from him (unless repeated by me!).
If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass every time he hops.
Looks like you’ll be shittin’ in high cotton!
ODC ~ Old Dead Chicken
Try it…it’ll put hair on yer chest.
I’ve got wavy hair. The front stands up and waves at the back.
If you taped her mouth shut she’d fart herself to death
I’m wearing my Injun’ underwear today. It keeps creepin’ up on me.
What you’ve got there is a three butt-kitchen.
A lock will keep an honest man honest.
I’m going to go take a shower and smell like a flower.
What’s for lunch? Well we’ve got a Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Lettuce with Tomato. Hot Dog, Cole Slaw, French Fried Potatoes.
He’s as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full o’ rockin’ chairs.
Drier than a powder maker’s ass
Put that in your pipe and smoke it
Perfume was always “Stink-me-foo-foo”
“Can’t remember what you were going to tell me? Must have been a lie.”
Your Daddy wasn’t a window maker.
He’d complain if he was hung with a new rope.
We had to sleep five in a bed and the first one up in the morning got the cleanest pair of socks.
Do is yer toe (translation: do as you’re told).
Richard G. Owens…and the G is for Great.
He’s as nervous as a whore in church.
Colder than a witches tit.
Don’t get yer tit in a ringer.
Doesn’t have a pot to piss in.
Women and people over 60 shouldn’t be allowed to drive.