“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” • Jack Handy
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” • Frank Sinatra
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” • Ernest Hemingway
“A woman drove me to drink, and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” • W.C. Fields
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” • Henny Youngman
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?!? “• Stephen Wright
“When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” • Brian O’Rourke
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” • Benjamin Franklin
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” • Dave Barry
“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!”
“Remember “I” before “E”, except in Budweiser.”
“To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group”
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” • Dean Martin
“Why do they offer Miller Genuine Draft, the “Draft Beer in a Bottle”, on tap?” • An original quote
“I hate when people say you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don’t need running shoes to run but it fuckin helps!” ~ JD
“There is no place, anywhere near this place, that is anything like this place . . . . . so, this must be the place” • Sign at the ‘Brass Ring Pub’