“If bad breath had a name, it would be Starbucks” • Christine Whitmire
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” ~ Dr. Seuss
Boy Scouts of America
“The problem with the Boy Scouts is that there aren’t enough of them!” • Will Rogers
Friends, Friendship & Love
“Friendship is Love without the wings.” • Lord Byron
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most.” • Swedish Proverb
“You’ve got to love yourself before you can love anyone else.” • Duke Ellington
Friends
“When you are mad . . . I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking bastard who made you mad. When you are blue . . . I’ll try to dislodge whatever’s choking you. When you smile . . . I will know that you finally got laid. When you are scared . . . I will rag you about it every chance I get. hen you are worried . . . I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit your whining. When you are confused . . . I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. When you are sick . . . I will stay away from you until you are well again. I don’t want whatever it is you have. When you fall . . . I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath I pledge till the end
Why you may ask?
Because you are my friend.”
Great Song Lyrics
“We count only blue cars” • Stone Temple Pilots
“I got the pistols, so I get the pesos!”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
(Thanks to Lisa Livernois)
“Remove your sunglasses when you talk to someone.”
“Overpay good babysitters.”
“Never drive while holding a cup of hot coffee between your knees.”
“Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one.”
“Be an original. If that means being a little eccentric, so be it.”
“Trust in God, but lock your car.”
“Everybody deserves a birthday cake. Never celebrate a birthday without one.”
Quality Service
“HPFM (Hocus Pocus Fucking Magic).” • William Drawz, explaining how Doc manages to fix systems without getting into a detailed explanation
Dummy
“She couldn’t find her own butt with two hands and a search warrant.”
“He couldn’t pour water out of his boots if the instructions were written on the bottom.”